New Year, Same You: Why Resolutions Don’t Work for Neurodiverse Minds

Dec 17

Every January, it feels like the world is shouting the same message: “New year, new me!” And while that may work for some, for those of us with ADHD or autism, it often feels like: “New year, same stress—just wrapped up in a shiny, guilt-inducing bow.”

The pressure to reinvent ourselves, overhaul our habits, and “fix” everything about our lives in one fell swoop is overwhelming, especially when we already struggle with executive functioning, sensory overload, or the emotional weight of perfectionism.

My take? You don’t need to be a whole new person to have a meaningful year.

What if we approached the new year with a little more grace and a lot less pressure?

Why Resolutions Fall Apart

Let’s be honest, traditional resolutions don’t usually work for neurodiverse minds.

For ADHDers, they often lose their appeal as soon as the novelty wears off (usually around late-January, if we’re lucky). That initial burst of motivation fades, leaving us feeling unmotivated and frustrated. For those on the autism spectrum, resolutions can feel like external expectations forcing us to conform rather than align with our personal values.

It’s not about laziness or lack of commitment—it’s about recognizing that our brains thrive on flexibility, creativity, and incremental progress, not rigid, all-or-nothing goals.

Focus on Intentions, Not Reinventions

Instead of setting resolutions that demand drastic change, consider focusing on intentions. Intentions aren’t about what you should do; they’re about how you want to feel and grow.

Ask yourself:

What makes me feel alive, and how can I make space for more of that?

What small habits already work for me, and how can I build on them?

What’s one thing I can do daily or weekly that makes life easier or more joyful?

For instance, instead of declaring, “I’m going to meditate for 20 minutes every morning,” try: “I’ll take 2 minutes to breathe deeply when I feel overwhelmed.” Instead of, “I’m cutting out sugar forever,” say: “I’ll drink one glass of water before I grab a snack.”

Intentions allow you to celebrate progress, no matter how small.

Have Fun with Resolutions (Yes, Really!)

Okay, let’s say you do want to make some resolutions, but you’re tired of the same old “go to the gym” or “eat healthier” goals. Why not turn them into something fun and playful instead?

Here are a few ideas to spark some joy:

Watch the entirety of the Marvel movies in sequential storyline order. (Not release order, because we’re thorough like that!)

Try as many different types of pasta as you can find. Bonus points for creating a ranking system.

Visit every local park in your city. Bring a picnic, a book, or your dog and make it an adventure.

Start a “self-love jar.” Write down one thing you love about yourself every week and read them all at the end of the year.

Pick a random skill to dabble in—no pressure to be good. Origami, watercolor painting, or learning how to say “hello” in 20 different languages.

The point is to embrace curiosity and creativity, not perfection. Resolutions can be about enjoying the year, not just improving yourself.

You Don’t Need a “New You”

The person you are right now is already enough.

You don’t need to overhaul your life to have a meaningful year. Instead of focusing on what you need to change, why not celebrate who you are and lean into the things that bring you joy?

This year, I’m choosing to let go of the pressure to fix everything. I’m embracing small wins, finding humor in the messiness, and creating space for the things that truly matter. And I’m inviting you to do the same.

So, what’s one intention or fun “resolution” you’re setting for the new year? Or maybe you’re ditching resolutions altogether—I’d love to hear about it. Let’s cheer each other on and make this year as uniquely us as possible.

Here’s to a joyful, intentional, and unapologetically imperfect new year,