Routines That Stick: A Neurodiverse Guide to Structuring Your Day
For years, I believed the lie that routines just weren’t meant for me. As an ADHDer, I thought structure had to be rigid, inflexible, and perfectly executed—a setup for failure every single time. Sound familiar?
Here’s the truth: Routines can work for neurodiverse minds—but they need to be designed with you in mind. They don’t have to look like color-coded calendars or hour-by-hour breakdowns. They can be flexible, fun, and imperfect.
Why Traditional Routines Don’t Work
Most routines are built for neurotypicals, with the assumption that consistency and motivation come naturally. For ADHD and autistic individuals, though, our brains thrive on novelty, external triggers, and systems that feel rewarding.
Here’s what typically goes wrong:
Overcomplicated plans: If your routine has too many moving parts, it’s easy to abandon it when life gets busy.
All-or-nothing thinking: Missing one step can make you feel like you’ve failed, leading to frustration and avoidance.
Lack of dopamine: If the routine feels boring or unmotivating, it’s hard to stick with it long-term.
But routines don’t have to fail—they just need a neurodiverse-friendly approach.
What Makes a Routine ADHD/Autism-Friendly?
Start Small: Instead of overhauling your entire day, pick one small thing to focus on. For example, decide to start every morning with a 5-minute stretch or end each day by tidying up one corner of your space.
Anchor It: Attach your new routine to something you’re already doing. This is called “habit stacking.” For example, if you make coffee every morning, use that time to plan your top three priorities for the day.
Make It Visual: Use sticky notes, apps, or visual timers to keep your routine in sight. Out of sight, out of mind is a very real struggle for neurodiverse individuals.
Build in Flexibility: Give yourself permission to adjust your routine as needed. A rigid plan doesn’t leave room for the unexpected, and let’s face it—life is always unexpected.
Celebrate the Wins: Every time you follow through on your routine, acknowledge it. A small reward (like a break or a quick snack) can reinforce the habit and make it feel good.
Examples of Neurodiverse-Friendly Routines
Morning Start-Up:
8:00 AM: Drink water while scrolling your phone.
8:10 AM: Quick stretch or 2-minute mindfulness exercise.
8:15 AM: Check your top 3 priorities for the day.
Work Flow:
Use a timer to work in 25-minute sprints (Pomodoro technique).
Take 5-minute movement breaks between tasks to reset your focus.
Evening Wind-Down:
9:00 PM: Write down 3 small wins from the day.
9:10 PM: Do one calming activity, like reading or cuddling with your dog.
The Key to Long-Term Success
The most important thing to remember is that routines are tools, not rules. They’re meant to serve you, not box you in. If a routine isn’t working, tweak it. If you miss a step, keep going. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.
For neurodiverse individuals, routines are less about sticking to a rigid schedule and more about finding rhythms that make life a little easier and a lot more manageable.
So, what’s one small step you can take to start building a routine that feels good for you? Start there—and remember, your routine doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be effective.
