How to Celebrate Small Wins in Neurodiverse Families: Even When Life Feels Chaotic
Let’s talk about gratitude.
I know, I know—when life feels like a never-ending circus of to-do lists, missed appointments, and sensory overload, the idea of practicing gratitude can feel like one more impossible task.
But hear me out: gratitude doesn’t have to be a big, complicated thing. In fact, for those of us in neurodiverse families, it’s often the smallest wins that make the biggest impact.
And with the holidays ramping up, finding ways to feel grounded and grateful can be a game-changer. Let’s explore how we can celebrate the little victories together, even when life feels messy and unpredictable.
Why Gratitude Matters (Especially for Neurodiverse Families)
We all know that life with ADHD or autism can be full of challenges. There are days when just getting everyone out the door in one piece feels like a miracle. But here’s the thing: our neurodiverse brains are wired to focus on what’s wrong (hello, anxiety and overwhelm), so intentionally focusing on the good—no matter how small—can really help shift our perspective.
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff; it’s about balancing it with moments of joy and appreciation. And in a world that feels chaotic, those small wins can be our anchor.
How to Make Gratitude Manageable (No Perfection Required)
Let’s keep this simple and neurodiverse-friendly. Here are some practical ways to weave gratitude into your life without it feeling like a chore:
1. Start a “Small Wins” Journal
I know that journaling can feel overwhelming, especially if you’ve tried and failed to keep one before (trust me, I have more half-filled journals than I care to admit). But a “Small Wins” journal isn’t about writing pages of reflections; it’s about jotting down one or two things you’re grateful for each day.
Example:
“We made it to school/work on time today, even though it felt impossible.”
“My child tried a new food without a meltdown.”
“I remembered to drink water before my afternoon crash.”
Keeping it short and sweet is the key. Over time, these little moments add up, and you might be surprised by how much there is to celebrate.
2. Have Family Gratitude Moments (Even if It’s Just 5 Minutes)
If you have kids, especially neurodiverse ones, family dinners or bedtime routines can be… chaotic, to say the least. But what if you added a tiny gratitude ritual to your day? It doesn’t have to be a big speech—just a quick moment where everyone shares one thing they’re grateful for.
Tips for Making It Work:
Use prompts like, “What’s one thing that made you smile today?” or “What’s something kind someone did for you?”
If verbal communication is tough for your child, let them draw or point to something that made them happy.
Remember: there are no right or wrong answers. The point is to celebrate whatever felt good, even if it’s something small.
This practice not only fosters connection but also teaches kids (and adults) to notice the good in everyday life.
3. Mindful Reflection: Gratitude for the Messy Moments
Gratitude doesn’t mean everything has to be perfect. Sometimes, it’s about finding humor or appreciation in the mess. Like, “I’m grateful we made it through that meltdown with only one broken plate.” Or, “I’m grateful for noise-canceling headphones when the world feels too loud.”
Mindful reflection can be as simple as taking a breath and acknowledging the effort it took to get through a hard moment. You did the best you could—and that’s worth celebrating.
4. Practice Self-Compassion Alongside Gratitude
For many of us, the holidays come with a truckload of expectations, and it’s easy to feel like we’re not doing enough. But remember: gratitude and self-compassion go hand in hand. Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. Gratitude isn’t about being perfect; it’s about recognizing the little things that went right and giving yourself grace for the rest.
Example of Self-Compassionate Gratitude:
“I’m grateful that we managed to get dressed and out the door, even if we were late. We showed up, and that’s enough.”
For My Fellow Professionals:
If you’re a therapist, coach, or educator, these simple practices can be incredibly helpful for your clients, too. Encouraging them to focus on small wins and practice mindful gratitude can make a world of difference. Feel free to share these ideas or adapt them to your work—you’re making a big impact!
Gratitude Is About Progress, Not Perfection
Life in a neurodiverse family is never going to be picture-perfect—and that’s okay. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the challenges; it’s about finding the little sparks of joy that make the chaos feel a bit more manageable. Whether it’s a smooth morning routine, a shared laugh, or a moment of quiet connection, those small wins deserve to be celebrated.
So, let’s practice gratitude together—one messy, wonderful, imperfect day at a time.
